I had a plan for my colleagues’ Christmas gifts this year.

Embroidered hoop ornaments – cute, handmade, personal, using some fun fabrics I found in my stash. I’d already made cookies to share, but I wanted to give them something more lasting, something that showed I’d put thought and effort into it.

So I started working on the embroidery hoops.

And my hand kept falling asleep.

Not just a little tingly – fully numb. Carpal tunnel symptoms that I’ve been dealing with lately, getting worse with every stitch. But I kept going because, well, I’d already started. I’d already bought the hoops and cut out the fabric motifs. I’d already told myself this was what I was doing.

Plus, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t even loving what I’d created. The motifs looked… fine. Not bad, but not quite what I’d envisioned (though actually I have a hard time envisioning things to begin with).

But I kept pushing through because that’s what I do. That’s what so many of us do.

We think powering through means we’re committed. We think changing course means we’re quitting.

Then I had a day when my hand just wasn’t working. And I thought: This feels familiar.

Sometimes God Gives You a Blister

About 25 days into my 40-day Camino, I was experiencing some pain. I think I had shin splints, my heels were hurting, and I was definitely slowing down. But I was planning on taking an extra day of rest when we got to Leon, which was still 3 days down the road.

I can make this. I’ll rest when I get to Leon.

It’s okay to keep walking in pain.

I want to keep pace with my friends.

I need to walk every step of the way to be a “real pilgrim.”

Let’s just say I had a lot of thoughts!

I noticed that a blister was forming on the outside of my left heel. It was a little painful, but I didn’t think much of it.

At dinner that night, though, it was excruciating.

I left dinner early (which I never did as a hungry pilgrim!) to try to treat it and hoped that it would be okay in the morning.

But here’s what was puzzling: I had been walking in my sandals for a day or two (we were on the ancient Roman road, so boots were unnecessary in the heat). And those sandals did not touch my foot anywhere near where that blister was forming.

There was nothing rubbing my foot to cause a blister. Nothing.

It just showed up out of nowhere and caused me a LOT of pain.

When Your Body Forces You to Listen

Luckily my friend Kathy talked some sense into me, and the next morning found us waiting at the bus station to ride into the next town where I could visit the clinic.

After being told I needed rest, ice, and ibuprofen, I realized that my body was seriously tired and trying to tell me that I needed to stop if I wanted to continue.

My body needed rest more than I needed to follow a made-up schedule.

And when I didn’t listen to my body, I truly believe that God gave me a blister that forced me to stop.

What came of that forced stop?

• One of my favorite Camino memories: visiting the clinic in Mansilla de las Mulas and watching gossip hour among all the little old ladies sitting in the waiting room
• One of my favorite chance encounters: I ran into my dear friend Christine one last time in Leon because I arrived by bus. I didn’t think I would see her again after we had parted ways a few days before the blister
• One of my favorite cities and meals: I got to enjoy the lovely city of Leon for an extra day, and had a gorgeous dinner at regular Spanish time, rather than early pilgrim time
• One of my favorite (really, the best!) outcomes: I was able to rest enough, with ice and ibuprofen, so that I could continue on and finish my Camino

Sometimes we have to stop in order to be able to continue.

That mysterious blister that appeared out of nowhere? I believe it was God’s way of making me listen when I refused to listen to the shin splints, the heel pain, the exhaustion.

And because I finally stopped – because I took the bus, rested in Leon, let go of my “real pilgrim” plan – I was able to complete my pilgrimage.

Back to My Numb Hand

So when my hand kept falling asleep while making those ornaments, I recognized the pattern.

My body was trying to tell me something. And maybe God was too.

I reached out for a fresh perspective. Someone asked: “What are your other options? What would you actually want to give them?”

And suddenly, I could see what I’d been too stuck to see on my own.

I had just done a presentation for my colleagues about the Camino de Santiago. They were curious and interested, excited to even consider walking someday themselves.

And I just so happened to have eight scallop shells – the symbol of the Camino – that I’d collected over the years during my annual Thanksgiving trips to the Outer Banks.

What if I gave them those shells, with cards explaining the meaning behind them?

My hand wouldn’t hurt. I’d actually be excited about the gift. And it would connect directly to something I’d already shared with them, something they were genuinely interested in.

This wasn’t giving up on the ornaments. It was listening to my body and to God.

When I let go of the ornaments and pivoted to the shells, everything got easier:

• The gift felt more authentic
• I was excited to give it instead of dreading finishing it
• My hand stopped hurting
• The gift actually connected to something meaningful I’d already shared

I gave my colleagues those scallop shell cards this week. They were a hit, and the meaning was well-received. One person is already trying to figure out when she can fit a Camino into her retirement plans!

None of that would have happened if I’d kept forcing myself to finish those ornaments.

Just like I wouldn’t have finished my Camino if I hadn’t listened to that mysterious blister.

When “I Need to Stick to My Plan” Gets in the Way

Here’s what I see in women over 40 all the time – especially single Catholic women who’ve spent their lives being the reliable one, the one who finishes what she starts, the one who figures things out:

We think we should be able to handle everything on our own. Figure out our purpose on our own. Find joy and clarity and direction on our own.

We make plans and think we need to stick to them. We think changing course means failure.

And when we can’t? When we’re stuck, spinning our wheels, forcing something that isn’t working? We think the answer is to try harder. Push through. Power through the numbness (literal or metaphorical) and just get it done.

But what if your numbness – your exhaustion, your stuck-ness, your sense of going through the motions – is God trying to redirect you?

What if the answer isn’t pushing harder? What if it’s stopping long enough to listen?

The Questions That Help You Listen

When you find yourself trying to willpower your way through something, getting frustrated that life is not going according to your schedule, or trying to ignore pain, stop and ask yourself:

• Where am I pushing through pain (physical, emotional, spiritual) because I think I should?
• What is my body trying to tell me that I’m ignoring?
• Where have I decided “this is the plan” and can’t see another option?
• What would I actually want to do if I let myself pivot?
• What might God be trying to tell me through what’s not working?

Sometimes the very strengths that got you here are the ones keeping you stuck:

Your ability to power through? Amazing. Until it keeps you forcing something that’s not working.

Your commitment to finishing what you start? Admirable. Until it keeps you from pivoting when you need to.

Your self-reliance? A strength. Until it keeps you isolated and prevents you from hearing what God might be saying.

You Don’t Have to Keep Pushing Through

If you’re reading this and recognize yourself – if you’ve been trying to figure out your purpose, find your joy, create a life that feels meaningful, all while pushing through the pain – I want you to know:

It’s not a failure to stop. Sometimes you have to stop in order to continue.

Just like my mysterious blister forced me to rest so I could finish my Camino.

Just like my numb hand told me to pivot to the shells so I could give a meaningful gift.

Your exhaustion, your stuck-ness, your numbness – it’s all trying to tell you something.

The question is: Are you listening? Or are you still trying to stick to a plan that God might be asking you to let go of?

What Could Shift If You Stopped to Listen?

I wonder: What could happen in your life if you stopped forcing what you think you should do and started listening to what’s actually trying to emerge?

What if finding your purpose, your clarity, your Camino Joy doesn’t require you to push harder – but to stop long enough to hear what God is saying?

That’s the work we do in coaching. Not powering through. Not forcing. But listening, asking better questions, and discovering what’s already there when you’re willing to see it.

Sometimes we need outside perspective to hear the questions we’re not asking ourselves: What’s actually meaningful to me? What is God trying to show me? Where do I need to stop in order to continue?

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If you’re tired of forcing things and ready to listen to what’s actually trying to emerge in your life, I’d love to talk with you. I’m currently offering discovery calls for my “Finding Camino Joy” 6-week coaching program. Click here to schedule a time to talk.